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how does one blindy become so famous
So I wrote a huuuuge long entry last night, then it deleted on me, when I think I accidently pressed escape! I was sooo mad! so a rewrite will happen soon.
but for now, it's amazing how one poor blindy can end up so famous!
Santa Claus Looking Into Assistive Technology
"You know Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixon
Are stressing out over Santa's condition."
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, North Pole
In a statement released yesterday, Rude Elf-Santa's
spoke self-confirmed that St. Nicholas sustained an eye injury which
will render him completely blind.
"I guess I'm the one to blame," Santa chuckled to reporters last
night, leaning casually against his own stomach, which the reporters
were using as a tabletop. "I'd just delivered a digital camera to
Noah Sight, a blind client of mine, and collected the milk and other
goodies that he left for me before his fireplace. I guess I should've
given Rudolph the carrot; but thinking about blindness lead me to want
the eye-improving vitamin found in every carrot. The moment I popped
it into my mouth, Rudolph attacked. His paws are capable of moving at
several hundred miles a second-so as we can reach every child's home
and deliver presents in one night. He drove his paws into my eyes at
a tremendous rate, penetrating as far back as my retinas. Of course,
all the pain this caused me to feel turned my cries of `Ho Ho, Merry
Christmas!` into `Ho Ho, Ho Ho, HOOOAAAAAAAARR!"
As a legally blind citizen, Santa is now faced with several
unfortunate dilemmas. Firstly, Rudolph, although already subject to a
formal hearing and a sentence of either death or merely a deprival of
reindeer games, could not guide Santa's sleigh anymore, because his
red nose simply wouldn't be adequate enough for Santa to notice.
Several solutions to this problem have been attempted with no luck at
all. A notetaker running up-to-date GPS software was strapped to
Dasher's back, but a mistake in route creation lead Santa to "Freedom
Scientific" instead of "Freda Scian Tiffany", a little girl on Santa's
naughty list. Not wishing for people to believe Santa had any
political motive in mind for leaving a lump of coal outside of
Jonathan Mosen's office, Santa realized that there was simply too much
room for error with global positioning systems these days.
Another problem relates to Santa's bookkeeping. What piece of
assistive technology could Santa use to store his naughty and nice
lists? It would have to have a pretty decent amount of storage-say
around nine billion gigabytes-ruling out the BrailleNote and the PAC
Mate, our two market leaders at this point. But there are other
reasons these notetakers couldn't be used.
"Rudolph tells me that the whiz wheels on the Pac Mate look too much
like small carrot slices," Santa explains seriously to reporters, "and
as for the thumb keys on the BrailleNote, my thumbs are usually too
sore to use after prying open all those boxes of sweets left for me by
my clients."
Dasher and Dancer are commencing an all-new business venture which
they're dubbing "Reindeer ware". This hopes to administer such
technologies as file storing methods using carrots, Braille displays
that can stand dirty grease from milk and cookie wrappings, speech
synthesizers that human beings can actually listen to, new devices
called Pack Mates (yes, not "pac", "pack" with a k) for "packing" all
of your gifts into one small device, and of course, CNs (Chimney
navigation systems)!
Santa, a two thousand and six-year-old citizen of the North Pole, is
beginning to feel that he may well be ready for retirement. He's
already shouted at six of his elves for feeling sorry for him,
substituted his Christmas turkey for one of Rudolph's legs, cut his
hand on a client's roof antennae (which he had thought was their
chimney), and filed for divorce with Mrs. Claus (we're not sure
why-but they must've been rocky for ages, because Santa mentioned
something about being mad that he could no longer hold staring
contests with her).
So between shouting at his lawyers about laws regarding obstruction of
reindeer, and singing "Rudolph Roasting On An Open Fire" and
"Sightless Night", let's just say that Santa's not having a great time
of it right now.
til next time, (in a few mins), RdFreak
but for now, it's amazing how one poor blindy can end up so famous!
Santa Claus Looking Into Assistive Technology
"You know Dasher and Dancer, Prancer and Vixon
Are stressing out over Santa's condition."
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, North Pole
In a statement released yesterday, Rude Elf-Santa's
spoke self-confirmed that St. Nicholas sustained an eye injury which
will render him completely blind.
"I guess I'm the one to blame," Santa chuckled to reporters last
night, leaning casually against his own stomach, which the reporters
were using as a tabletop. "I'd just delivered a digital camera to
Noah Sight, a blind client of mine, and collected the milk and other
goodies that he left for me before his fireplace. I guess I should've
given Rudolph the carrot; but thinking about blindness lead me to want
the eye-improving vitamin found in every carrot. The moment I popped
it into my mouth, Rudolph attacked. His paws are capable of moving at
several hundred miles a second-so as we can reach every child's home
and deliver presents in one night. He drove his paws into my eyes at
a tremendous rate, penetrating as far back as my retinas. Of course,
all the pain this caused me to feel turned my cries of `Ho Ho, Merry
Christmas!` into `Ho Ho, Ho Ho, HOOOAAAAAAAARR!"
As a legally blind citizen, Santa is now faced with several
unfortunate dilemmas. Firstly, Rudolph, although already subject to a
formal hearing and a sentence of either death or merely a deprival of
reindeer games, could not guide Santa's sleigh anymore, because his
red nose simply wouldn't be adequate enough for Santa to notice.
Several solutions to this problem have been attempted with no luck at
all. A notetaker running up-to-date GPS software was strapped to
Dasher's back, but a mistake in route creation lead Santa to "Freedom
Scientific" instead of "Freda Scian Tiffany", a little girl on Santa's
naughty list. Not wishing for people to believe Santa had any
political motive in mind for leaving a lump of coal outside of
Jonathan Mosen's office, Santa realized that there was simply too much
room for error with global positioning systems these days.
Another problem relates to Santa's bookkeeping. What piece of
assistive technology could Santa use to store his naughty and nice
lists? It would have to have a pretty decent amount of storage-say
around nine billion gigabytes-ruling out the BrailleNote and the PAC
Mate, our two market leaders at this point. But there are other
reasons these notetakers couldn't be used.
"Rudolph tells me that the whiz wheels on the Pac Mate look too much
like small carrot slices," Santa explains seriously to reporters, "and
as for the thumb keys on the BrailleNote, my thumbs are usually too
sore to use after prying open all those boxes of sweets left for me by
my clients."
Dasher and Dancer are commencing an all-new business venture which
they're dubbing "Reindeer ware". This hopes to administer such
technologies as file storing methods using carrots, Braille displays
that can stand dirty grease from milk and cookie wrappings, speech
synthesizers that human beings can actually listen to, new devices
called Pack Mates (yes, not "pac", "pack" with a k) for "packing" all
of your gifts into one small device, and of course, CNs (Chimney
navigation systems)!
Santa, a two thousand and six-year-old citizen of the North Pole, is
beginning to feel that he may well be ready for retirement. He's
already shouted at six of his elves for feeling sorry for him,
substituted his Christmas turkey for one of Rudolph's legs, cut his
hand on a client's roof antennae (which he had thought was their
chimney), and filed for divorce with Mrs. Claus (we're not sure
why-but they must've been rocky for ages, because Santa mentioned
something about being mad that he could no longer hold staring
contests with her).
So between shouting at his lawyers about laws regarding obstruction of
reindeer, and singing "Rudolph Roasting On An Open Fire" and
"Sightless Night", let's just say that Santa's not having a great time
of it right now.
til next time, (in a few mins), RdFreak