my pondering over marridge and relationships

[rdfreak]

I can't say I know the statistics for out here, but as heard on Oprah before, 50% of marridges in the U.S. now end in separation or divorce. I'd wager it would be the same here taking into consideration the population difference.
I always will remember being so amazed at both primary and secondary school, how pretty much every second child would be with parents who separated.
Before Oprah was about women and how they found out it was over and if there were any warning signs. apparently there were quite a few cases when after 9 11 firefighters would leave their wifes for the widdowed wives from 9 11. they features a couple of those cases. They featured a woman who had five children, her husband went off with her best friend and both sets of kids were the best of friends.
And there was a woman who was twelve weeks pregnant and they just bought a house and all, and he just said to her one night "I don't love you any more. this is it!"> I can honestly understand men having emotions and feelings too; of course. it'd be stupid of me to say they didn't, but I do think some guys simply pick the most poor poor timing to do it? I mean I'm sure he would have been thinking about his lack of ability to love her for some time?! why get her pregnant? it's just weird! I mean no-one is perfect but I just can't work out why anyone would do that! oh that's right, she had said "why now? I'm pregnant" and he replied "I knew once you had the baby I couldn't leave!" hello! no difference buddy!
I dunno .. I mean I know there are heaps of maridges that work, but i guess I am seeing this kinda stuff everywhere! I don't know! I mean, people always say it's more now couples rush into things and they don't want to work to keep a relationship any more. As a Psychologist on Oprah said "it's not how the other woman looks or smells or feels, but how they make them (the guys) feel.
Communication is soo important between a couple. I mean maridge can go through so many phazes and levels. I have always observed that they go through the magic and the spark of the pre-maridge, then the honeymoon once they are married. then the kids come, and a lot of maridges change. People no longer have time for each other as much, I spose that's why. But it's all about the kids, not each other any more.
The more i hear these stories the more I wonder what's worth it? In every relationship I've had, and/or every other one I've longed to have, I've always been hurt! They say love is so nice and all, and it can be. It's all just sooo magic when it's right, and you two only have eyes for each other, but how long can that last? Love is painful I reckon. the majority of the time! I always say I wish I didn't have that "falling in love" thing in me. life would be so much more perfect!
In saying that, of course I want all the hope, luck and prayers in the world that I can find happiness one day in the area. Find stability; and hopefully have a family of my own.
Everything just seems so uncertain these days. Marridge is not forever now in the majority of cases! With that school statistic of mine, I just couldn't believe it! I guess when I was that young I didn't understand why parents weren't together!
anyway .. that's my evaluation after today I wanted to get out to my lovely journal, and now I go and wash my hair I think.
I'm getting my damn period too. no wonder i was more on edge than usual last night!
Til Next time, RdFreak

Comments

[lovable-leo.livejournal.com]

I guess it is the hint of the hopeless romantic in me, but I believe it is possible to have a long lasting marriage. Many marriages fail because people forget how much work it takes to keep them alive. As long as the lines of communication remain open and people do not go into it with unrealistic expectations of themselves or the other person, it should work.

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

*nods in agreement* .. I'm a hopeless romantic too who wishes I wasn't! lol

Ponderings over marriage?

[yorkshire-tea.livejournal.com]

I seriously wonder whether people don't set way to much store by choice these days. Now don't get me wrong, wouldn't want anyone to be trapped in an unhappy marriage for life. But those statistics you came up with, say that half the people who get married these days aren't right for each other? Amazing! Actually, that's maybe not quite as bad as it sounds, because in the past, husband's and wives were, both, unfaithful, They simply tried to be more discrete about it. And, of course, they tended to marry for money and position then, Yeah, the wrong reasons again! I always comfort myself with this, though, so I hope you can use this too, and that is, that when a marriage really does work, it is truly magical! And everyone who knows that couple, wishes they were them. Everyone wants to experience that magical feeling. To be a part of that wonderous loving thing. Yeah, I'm a hopeless romantic too! It is worth striving for! I do take the point about when the kids come along though. But isn't that the responsibility of the couple? Not to let their whole attention be taken over by the children? I mean, the children don't mean that the parents now cease to exist. If anything the parents love for each other should be even more important for each other. Don't the kids need to feel/know that their growing up in a safe, warm, loving environment? Shouldn't the kids see their parents make up after the inevitable arguments? Shouldn't the kids learn, from an early age that realationships/friendships need to be worked at? Don't give up! You're on the right track girl! Big Warm Friendly Smiles!

Till next time, Yorkshire_Tea! Oopse! I've gone and stolen your sig, again! Smile! Hehehehehehehe!

Re: Ponderings over marriage?

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

you thief! Lol but thanks for your opinion and I do agree with everything!
See you next year! ha ha!

Re: Ponderings over marriage?

[yorkshire-tea.livejournal.com]

LOL! If you're really unlucky, then you will see me next year. Smile! Seriously, It'd be great to finally catch up with ya. So, till then, it'll just have to be, cyber love and cyber hugs!

Till next time, Yorkshire_tea!

Re: Ponderings over marriage?

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

you can see me, but ya can't touch me! Lol hahahaha! ya may have germs. at least it's safer to imagine hugs this way! hahahahahahahahahahahaha Lol *huge grin* OK, urm, *hugs* hahaha get on skype when I'm actually awake ya freak! hahahahahaha Lololol

You sound like an echo of me a couple of years ago!

[charisita.livejournal.com]

Hey Raiche
I felt and thought the same things, and still do. I am engaged, but I count myself very, very, lucky.
I'm not saying my relationship is perfect, how can it be. No human experience is perfect. But, I see so many couples who do rush into a relationship, simply because they can, it's there, they make each other feel good. But what about when they don't? When times get hard, rough, or they go through times where they are finding it difficult to communicate?
Simon and I have had those times, and we've had a few very dark and difficult ones. But I never thought of leaving him, and even though he couldn't understand what I was going through, or what was happening to us, he stuck by me, and never gave up.
Ok, so we're not married, or living together, but I fervently hope that when we do get married and are together in person, that the same principles will apply.
Long-lasting, and meaningful relationships are hard to come by. I'm so glad that for now, where I'm standing, I can at least say that I love my best friend now, just as much as I did a year ago, and hope it will last for as long as is humanly possible.
Take care,
Lisa

Re: You sound like an echo of me a couple of years ago!

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

*nods* hey good on ya! and I do hope it continues to go well for you! Talk soon OK?! :)