a belated happy birthday Miss Heartly! :)

To my darling puppydog Heartly,
I'm sorry, it just reached the 21st here in germany,, which obviously means it's later in Aus, but happy 9th birthday my darling girl for the 20th of this month!
You're gettin old but you're not showingit, except for your gray hairs now!
Your guide work has gotten a lot better, even lately; now I know how best to interact with you while on the job!
couldn't ask for a better guide dog and pet!
Love you soooo much!
Hope your grandparents remembered and were good to you, and that Ruby was nice.
Lot's of love, Mum

reoccuring dream now

so last night I had the second dream in a consecutive night that I went home to Melb and had left earlier than I'd planned.
fact is, (and I had forgotten to mention this) for some reason, when I was on the plane from Melb, I couldn't quite believe where I was. I think maybe because I rushed out in such a hurry, I was having a hard time believing that the time had come, and I was on the plane bound for U.K again! I for some reason also felt a bit sad; maybe because I had to leave before I got a chance to say bye to dad (cos the staff wanted to take me earlier than originally was said.) so I just felt like I would be very homesick, and had that kind of overwhelming, nonbelieving feeling, even when I reached U.K and was on the Fenchert Street train with Lou.
After a few days however, it seemed i was fine, and I still am. in fact, I honestly don't want to come home. I mean I know I'm not even halfway through my trip, but I know, even though I have work to go back to this time, unlike last time, I really don't want to go back. I mean, unlike last time, I have my many extra reasons for not wanting to go back.
I love Australia, but I'm getting very sick of the selfish people there! don't get me wrong, my new friends are great, as is most old ones, but I just like it here where I've got no enemies and I can have fun with people knowing that I don't have to be fake around some.
I want a change, and also, let's not forget the various reasons that has been stated privately in the past. It goes without saying that I want to live in U.K, but there's a lot of other reasons besides.
I'm sick of trying to act nice and pretending I'm happy, when, without my ciprinal, I am a freakin wreck.
again, let's not be mistaken, I want to be with family but I can't have both. I want to live here for a while (maybe not exactly here but in U.K).
the other day, when on the tube by meself, I felt like "one of them". sure, I needed assisstence every step of the way, but so does my other blind friends. (I'm one of these people though that would get mobility especially if it's a route I travel to often).
the only good thing going for me in Melb is the fact I got my first job that pays quite well. that's the only thing. though even then, who knows how quickly one can get sick of answering a switchboard day in, day out, especially when/if I go fulltime, like I intend.
ah well, I shall see what happens; what can be worked out.
til next time, RdFreak