hmmm, what to think?!
Sep. 1st, 2005 08:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rdfreakWell today was pretty cool! Heartly works like a charm! she wants to get out more! comparing her work to the work of a cane (as did today) is just amazing. I'm zooming ahead, often resorting to getting him to hold on to my bag or my arm.
Good pizza but not as good as I remembered it! :( got home, watched neighbours, oh had a smoothie before that :) and .. well![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
rickybuchanan had called me on skype today so I'd messaged her and she called me back. and, she sounded very exausted - like really badly so! .. anyway she was starting to explain to me why I don't seem to hear from her much. and she totally shocked me by saying I am high energy and too bouncy and loud for her comfort. She has "quiet" friends, while I take a lot of energy. In one way it was a compliment as I had said to her, i always thought I lacked in energy and bounce. But, for Ricky, it seemed as though she has trouble coping with me. It was a shock as well because I was under the impression she valued me as a friend, (she probably does) but I mean, a lot more. i honestly got the impression that she felt she could talk to me very easily. (it's making me sad to write this - she says she didn't want to hurt me, which I know is true) but still, I didn't know how to take it. I know how sick she is. I really do, and like I explained to her, all I want to have done was be there and help her. Instead, I am too loud and bouncy and I talk too fast and I joke too much! I mean, a lot more than she does i guess. Well, I don't mind. I love my friends and want to be there for them! I totally understand each one is different with differing needs, and what i was trying to explain to her was, I never wanted her to feel as though she had to be joky and loud around me. I just simply responded on her good days when she'd call me and sounded very hypa! that's when she says that it's when she called the people she doesn't know as well on those days. Well, without her realizing it, that did hurt me, because as I said earlier, i honestly had thought she knew me more than she's now saying.
The last thing I want is for my friends to feel awkward around me, honestly! (didn't say that much but it's so true).
Maybe that's why she took me off her LJ friends list even; cos maybe my journals are too hypa, though the majority of them seem kinda depressing - I thought! I know I sounded hypa in those phone posts especially when I was in US! .. but of course I can't change and I won't. I am me, and my LJ is me!
ah well, all I can do is try my best! .. I do of course want what's best for Ricky!
Til Next Time, RdFreak
Good pizza but not as good as I remembered it! :( got home, watched neighbours, oh had a smoothie before that :) and .. well
rickybuchanan had called me on skype today so I'd messaged her and she called me back. and, she sounded very exausted - like really badly so! .. anyway she was starting to explain to me why I don't seem to hear from her much. and she totally shocked me by saying I am high energy and too bouncy and loud for her comfort. She has "quiet" friends, while I take a lot of energy. In one way it was a compliment as I had said to her, i always thought I lacked in energy and bounce. But, for Ricky, it seemed as though she has trouble coping with me. It was a shock as well because I was under the impression she valued me as a friend, (she probably does) but I mean, a lot more. i honestly got the impression that she felt she could talk to me very easily. (it's making me sad to write this - she says she didn't want to hurt me, which I know is true) but still, I didn't know how to take it. I know how sick she is. I really do, and like I explained to her, all I want to have done was be there and help her. Instead, I am too loud and bouncy and I talk too fast and I joke too much! I mean, a lot more than she does i guess. Well, I don't mind. I love my friends and want to be there for them! I totally understand each one is different with differing needs, and what i was trying to explain to her was, I never wanted her to feel as though she had to be joky and loud around me. I just simply responded on her good days when she'd call me and sounded very hypa! that's when she says that it's when she called the people she doesn't know as well on those days. Well, without her realizing it, that did hurt me, because as I said earlier, i honestly had thought she knew me more than she's now saying.The last thing I want is for my friends to feel awkward around me, honestly! (didn't say that much but it's so true).
Maybe that's why she took me off her LJ friends list even; cos maybe my journals are too hypa, though the majority of them seem kinda depressing - I thought! I know I sounded hypa in those phone posts especially when I was in US! .. but of course I can't change and I won't. I am me, and my LJ is me!
ah well, all I can do is try my best! .. I do of course want what's best for Ricky!
Til Next Time, RdFreak
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-09-01 06:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-09-01 11:33 pm (UTC)Duuuuude
Date: 2005-09-03 06:25 am (UTC)XOXOOXOXXX,
Caitcait
Re: Duuuuude
Date: 2005-09-03 07:01 am (UTC)Re: Duuuuude
Date: 2005-09-04 12:21 am (UTC)