MEMES WHILE PROCRASTINATING (as only I do best!!)

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huh?!

Well I just called Mum for a chat - for the first time, no, I didn't want/need anything. Just called her to say Hello! I thought, since we get along so well now, I might just show her I appreciate it, but, am thinking too soon.
I told Mum what a procrastinator I've been today and most of the time, and explained my reasons why. damnit, I sooo wouldn't be this bad if I had my damn braille!
(insert pause to put tea on and then I'll be back!)
OK back eating half a rore carrot. I only used one and a half for vegies and I am having chicken shaslics. yum!
man won't attempt to cook tea while writing again! Lol!
anyway, Mum said "you know what you said last year - I wished I'd studied more for these exams" yeah, I know. :( it's terrible!
I am still yet to do my practice exam tomorrow for Friday's class. *sigh*
anyway, then she said " just be a bit prepared incase you don't get any offers" and I started arguing with her, but I know she's right. I shouldn't have my hopes completely with getting in next year because look what happened this year. Mum is very confident in me though but she knows I can think a bit too positivly sometimes, and i know I need someone to be a bit more realistic sometimes.
But what I forgot to tell her, but have before anyway was next year I have the TAFE courses to fall back on whereas I didn't apply for any last year. anyway, it won't be as if I'm "falling back" if I get into youth work as that is one of the things I ultimately want to do.
I ended up saying to her "mum, if I don't get into anything next year, you don't know how it will make me feel - just indescribable; I can't describe it to you" cos i can't. I can't even think about that as I literally don't know what to think. I said "Mum, you don't understand; I want to do something good with my life". It's so hard to explain and I didn't tell mum this, but I think I wanna prove something to the world; to myself. I will get where I want to be, and unlike before, I don't care how long it takes!
Then I asked her a dreaded question (unfortunately it's my worst nightmarish question now) "what are we doing for christmas?" she's like "here we go" with a sigh. She still won't go anywhere if aunt M is going to be there!
I wish wish wish to heck they'd get over it, both of them! I don't care who has made the least or the most effort, just come forward someone and create the life you once had again!
Christmas is just not the same any more - we can't be altogether! it makes me soooo sad!
anyway will quit that now as I can't think about it. I know that I have tried my hardest over the years but Mum won't listen to me. so what if I'm making sense? I'm her daughter!
Well I just had tea and watched my daily dose of Neighbours!
A told me that the one who plays Jo (forget his name in real life) had been fired for no reason that the papers gave, so something fishy happened obviously. Jo is still in it now as I think they record six months in advance of an airring, so I am not sure how he'll die since it would have to be so sudden, as in, we wouldn't see it happen.
actually that reminds me, I had meant to write to neighboursuk about that. Will do that soon.
I am downloading Troopannum version 2. I have version 1. gosh I hate dialup modems! I was halfway through the download today and it decided to try and convince me it had finished but I knew it wasn't. When I tried to install, it said "currupt install file" huh, knew that you stupid piece of "beep beep". It happened twice more, but now am downloading and am at 60% The server is less busy as there have been others set up to take some traffic.
Unfortunately this will have to stay demo for a while until I can actually afford it.
Well that's about all for now - nothing that exciting. Oh the weather today and yesterday was sooo nice - 27 today. but I heard showers tomorrow. typical Melbourne!
Oh my gosh! ha! yes yesterday we all went to Sofitel (being the correct spelling - not socatell as I'd thought). it was soooo nice but quite expensive. It was on the 35th floor. that amazed me. I think apart from the rialto, that was the highest i'd ever been in a building.
There was basically a smorcus-board. man, I say again, the food was just soooo good, and the deserts!!! I am so not a deserty person but yesterday, if I wasn't so full, would of had all of them baby! aaaaah yeah! :)
so same time, same place next year?? YOU BET!!!
OK nofin more to say. Still no sign of new neighbours but I can be a bit more noisy at nights - not that I am or anything. um, yeah! Dirty minds must escape alright?!
Yeah yeah yeah I go Oh before that, check out what a random someone from LJ reckons I'll be doing next year:
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P.S. I am still having trouble sending this to the server. Reckon I should just send it via the web. *sigh*