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I really don't want to go back to school next Monday! I can say that I have really enjoyed me damn self this week. at least I have enjoyed being lazy; getting up, switching on the puter, getting online and downloading my email while getting ready; watching Judge Judy, having made my breakfast (now I'm on to wheatbix still with a few nutral grains to make that horrid taste of the littles milk go away). then after that I come back here to the puter, either go on the Zone, check through and reply to emails, or maybe go directly to livejournal to read me friends page - and man that is growing of late! Gone are the dayd mostly where I do random Journal surfs though I still enjoy doing that occasionally. Face it, I have met soo many wonderful people through doing that - horray for Livejournal! it is the best! ever! it's changed my life/world to an extent!
I have also met wonderful people through the zone. as I pointed out earlier, some of whom I'm sure will be long-term friends! I love everyone at the moment! I know I go through strange-arse moods!
Great great human life forms can exist on this plannet! Lol! ya just got to know where to look!
I have discovered a new accessable games site -- vipgameszone.com. I was sooo impressed with what I have been hearing that I wrote them a note.
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Needless to say I have quite a few game sites to add to my list on my web page. in fact, I think I am gunna dedicate a whole page to the games, cos there's getting to be soo much out there! Yeah for the blindy programmers! it's all so fantastic!
Man I haven't even had my zoloft yet for the day. what is wrong with me?
I was doing some singing exercises before, not that I am taking singing lessons right now, but I reckon I am gunna take R up on it when he gets back from music camp. Also try and better me braille music skills so I can start to muck around with the piano again. afterall, I am getting our piano. may as well make the best use of it! who knows; might even be good enough to enter the land of the mystirious Braille Music Camp one of these years heh! I couldn't wait to get home when I was last there in 95 but now it's different. i'm not as shy! but then again, I don't and never will get so into that snobby world of music that some of them sorta get like there! And H is the worse out of em all - only associating with those who are good musos - makes me sick! and the way she and a few others talk about braille music - it's like only "goody goodies" can join their clan, and oh my gosh it's something so wonderful and clever! and no-body else can be quite as clever as them! it's a special thing that only a few have! oooh!
OK I will quit now! Please, what is up with me?! Lol um, as true as that is, I just felt i had to stop myself from going crazy! haha!
My headache is gone! Nurifen does wonders - maybe that's what's happened to me. it's had some strange affect on not only my physical pain but my mental state!
So yeah last night and this morning it was the groviness of the vip-games. Last night Dad brought pizza from Michael angelos for tea. Oh I got me hearing back yesterday too wohooo! And TPG went down. i was on the net yesterday afo and it all of a sudden wouldn't let me talk on msn or go to any web site or check mail. so me thinks there's no point in being on line. so I disconnected then I couldn't connect again! but luckily I didn't panic too much as I knew it was their end! So poor little me was off the net for a while! :( oh no! after tea I tried logging on again and mannaged but nothing was working so I got off and about 9 it seemed to work again so yeah! Love tpg though. hardly ever has probs.
Heartly went back with dad last night, so i don't have to worry about her being bored. Tonight I'll take her back after my appointment. As tomorrow now I am going to visit Ricky Ricky! Lol!
Then I'll be sad as it will be the last day of my holidays! I sooooo soo don't wanna go back! even though I didn't do much, the routine I described earlier has been great and this week, has done me wonders! I also feel like I want the troop to stay at music camp Lol! I'm sure they'd love it too, but reality is ... they have to come back! Lol! doh and double doh! :( Lol haha but like the reverent mother from "Sound of music" says: "I can't let camp solve all my problems; I've got to face them" so that I will do and it will work out just fine! you wait and see! ;) haha
Heard from J a few times on SMS and I made a point of saying to her "shout out to everyone I know, and i do mena *everyone I know" haha! then I said "luv to everyone who luvs me" haha! I know, I am crazy! but what can ya do?!
Things will work out! they will!
I was going to write up "my book of friendship rules" but I am feeling too bouncy to do that so I will save it for a time when I'm feeling a little more bitchy Lol!
ha he hi ho hu I do I have to feel blue.
why can't everyone luv me, like I luv them - and stuff and that - and that didn't rhyme one little tiny bit!
.. ahem .. me go and have breakfast now!
I hate jaws! it doesn't backspace and announce letters unless i do it slowly. Must be a setting I can ajust somewhere but who knows where?!
Til Next Time, RdFreak

freakin figure

So now I feel bla! I kinda new it! whenever I get in such a high I always know i'm gunna be hit hard-core later, so I'm never overly thrilled at the time. I do go up and down! up and down like a yoyo! actually it hasn't been like that for quite a while with me; I've always been just OK.
Well Neighbours was pretty depressing earlier, then I called Nan, and I was starting to go into all the reasons why I didn't want parents to purchase flat at rye, and yeah and bla. that got me a little upset again just talking about it! *sigh*
And while I love my internet friends, and was totally high on them before, it can annoy me how text chatting doesn't really give you the ability to know how they mean a certain statement! And sometimes people just go off line - which I understand - I do it too, but it's like I seem to be caring about everyone and I never get anything back. Yes yes I know I know, people will probably think I'm contradicting myself big time but deal! maybe I felt more positive! maybe now, while I still stand by loving all my Net friends, it can all seem extremely one-sided sometimes.
And everyone seems to be out to please themselves these days. I'm the only one who seems to care about all my friends, really. I mean .. I dunno!
When it comes to relationships and stuff, I've learnt that your close friends can become your worst enemy. why? because we all try and compete for the one we love! and screw the gender-bias friendship! Yes I have been thinking a lot about that one too lately, and it's sooo sad! I can't not admit that I do it too! but why? why why why?
I dunno! I just figured I'd feel better if I write in here. Cos I love my journal, even if I am weird sometimes.
Like I've always said, LJ appeals to me so much as I really benefit from having others read my story! -- well the majority of it anyway! haha! not saying that I don't write everything in here cos, this is my one and only journal - well maybe not my one and only. I do keep voice diaries on occasion but this has turned into my one and only text one now. The very occasional entry will be private! then a little more of it is "friends only" but most stuff, generally speaking can be viewed by everyone! I think of it is my BigBrother eppisodes! man I would love to get on there, but I now doubt that very much! I use to be positive about it, but I don't know why?! I am blind. i need to get a grip on reality! Mainstream doesn't always want to acomodate! it sucks! I feel I have as much right as the rest of the world to have my fun!
Lol I can't understand why everyone says "I'm being random". i am always random but I don't give a hoot! it's my journal and I'll hoot if I want too - or somethin!
Til Next time, RdFreak