(no subject)

my LJ is my friend, my very good friend and I think I've neglected it for way way too long cos I felt a lot better when I finally updated last night but now I feel like crapedy crap again. I woke with a damn headache. it's this stupid stupid weather that goes from hot to cold back to hot again! Melbourne weather peeves me off! but anyway yeah so I have, what I still call a "puffed out" head. and I feel really uptight. :( I just paid a lot of my bills that I hadn't paid, electricity, gass, phone Lol .. but they're done now! .. I am kinda wondering why AGL haven't combine both accounts yet like I agreed to with their telemarketting plea but oh well!
man I feel like i haven't taken my zoloft in at least a hundred years Lol .. dunno. hmm maybe I just need breakfast.
sighties are only trying to help and I am very short with them, oh well. Nan came yesterday and she's coming with me to Ringwood today. I liked the sound of Wil's wind up radio/torch. and I'll be happy to have a torch to play around with again! and the fact that it's wind up kinda fascinates me. would have been a good invention for the old daysh which I am wondering if they were the only case back then? Anyway when they're wound up it kind of creates the electricity somehow. will have to find out maybe by surfin how it's done. There is so much stuff I'd love to know but just don't. it all goes over my head. :(
I might call up about youth work today. Nan found that letter with the actual phone numbers on it from the letter I recieved ages ago, telling that the juvenile justice cource wasn't continuing.
anyway I felt a little better now. Was just writing to taigirl .. I do miss the old days of Hands. The list was way different but I guess things are always changing and can't stay the same forever.
hmmm think I just need breakfast or somethin.
seriously I'm feeling a bit better now than when I started. I sooo don't know what is wrong with me but I just feel I've been too slack lately for my own good. bla bla bla it's all good! really. I'm actually smiling! I'm so weird when I wake up now. I so never use to be like it but I think it comes from living on my own too long. I just have to have some time before anyone tries to talk to me. that is soo different from how I use to be before! oh well! I just spoke to nan again. it's OK! OK me going to have breakfast and stuff.
I love my LJ; didn't I mention that I am never going to neglect it again cos it's my journal and I write what I want in here! man I think I'm going slightly insane but that's OK. i quit ..
Til Next time, RdFreak

(no subject)

OK before sugar84 and myself were discussing whether love is the same as obsession as far as people are concerned. I was telling her that I had learnt that it was different, but it took me a while to figure it out. It took me a while to figure out that in liking the women in my life I didn't exactly know them intimately yet I said I did. So I had to create immages in my poor little head to couteract not knowing them really, as much as I'd wanted too. So, while I believed that I "loved" them, it was not the case, but they were still on my mind 24/7 .. so .. I matured a little and loved a little, I mean .. really. .. I know there's a difference.
( and I want to know what others think ... )