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OK before [livejournal.com profile] sugar84 and myself were discussing whether love is the same as obsession as far as people are concerned. I was telling her that I had learnt that it was different, but it took me a while to figure it out. It took me a while to figure out that in liking the women in my life I didn't exactly know them intimately yet I said I did. So I had to create immages in my poor little head to couteract not knowing them really, as much as I'd wanted too. So, while I believed that I "loved" them, it was not the case, but they were still on my mind 24/7 .. so .. I matured a little and loved a little, I mean .. really. .. I know there's a difference.


[Poll #370833]

Date: 2004-10-22 02:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] awayfromthecity.livejournal.com
i didn't have enough space in the poll...

obsession is selfish, you only want that person for yourself and don't care what you have to do to be with them. you may "think" you love them, but true love must be mutual. also, when you love someone, you want them to be happy and you'll do anything to make sure they are. being in love means someone else comes first. obsession means you come first.

Date: 2004-10-22 04:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rdfreak.livejournal.com
oh dear .. am so sorry bout that. I couldn't figure out how to make the max length of characters bigger. *grrrr I use to be able to do it but .. yeah .. and unfortunately one can't edit poles :( but .. thanks for your say. that is sooo true. I didn't even really think of it like that.
I asked because I think in some cases they can overlap. but yes, obsession, though can't be helped in the majority of cases (from my experiences anyway) is selfish.
sorry again bout that. guess everyone else is going to have the same problem. :( *grrrr <33

Date: 2004-10-22 08:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sugar84.livejournal.com
When Rache and I had this conversation, I'd just had a very long, hard night, as far as my family goes and, in short, I was wiped out. Even though I've still not slept yet, coz I had to go to work, I've had the chance to wake up a bit, and upon reflection, I wish I could have put it like that because that's exactly what I meant to say. It just all turned in to ramblings instead. I think you got the jist of it though didnt' you Rache? lol.

Take care,

D

xx

Date: 2004-10-22 03:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rdfreak.livejournal.com
of course I did Sugar. .. I know I can't always get out exactly what I mean but unfortunately that's the way it goes with me :( Hope all is better with you now, and again sorry about the pole space *grrrrr

Date: 2004-10-23 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] internet-king.livejournal.com
Well I had the same problem, as you'll prob notice I didn't have enough space either, but I kept writing because I'm stupid and I thought that the things will still being typed because jaws sometimes doesn't read things properlly in those form so I thought it was the problem with the jaws, not the character limit, lol! Anyway, what I tried to say was baisicly kind of what you said that obsession usually means that you do think about someone all the time and you think that you love them, yet you don't neceserilly know much about this person. I used to be like that when I was younger, but now I really have to get to know person quite well, need to enjoy their company, have some kind of common interests, have to feel like I can trust this person and that they'll listen to me and help when they can and that I'll feel safe telling them anything I want. I think when you have an obsession with someone you don't really have many reasons, you think they're nice, but I bet if you're only obsessed with someone and someone asked you why do you love this person so much, you probablly wouldn't have too much to say except that you think they're nice and you can't stop thinking about them, but if someone asked you what's so good about that particular person or asked you some personal question about that person, you probablly wouldn't know a lot. Of course you can get obsessed over a friend who you might know better and you might know soeme things about this person, but I still think it's very much different from love and also obsessions usually end as quick as they start.

Date: 2004-10-23 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nickibooh.livejournal.com
I did that stupid thing in the pole to so if it doesn't make sense thats why. lolo. anyways, love is something that matures over time and you learn to grow with a person and learn about each other. obsession is totally different it's just liking someone usually based on little information, hell you don't even have to meet someone to be obsessed with them, love is about knowing and excepting someone for just who they are. *smile*

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