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just came back from my ninth singing lesson, (and no I'm not going to keep counting them cos it prob sounds corney). just worked more on "HOW DO I LIVE". and she's moving at the end of the month to Malvern, so another route to learn, *sigh*
this week, I actually ended up taking a sicky on the thursday as I had gotten myself far too worked up on Wednesday. Fortunately L and I didn't have too many confrontations this week, but the fact that she's there, and I'm always so nervy she's watching me all the time; walking in and out; "is she going to be there and get down on me again"? oooh, what if I make a tiny mistake; bad bad! I couldn't bare it! plus, I did make a tiny error on the board; I put someone to the wrong person. She didn't tell me off; just informed me what I'd done, in her usual L--- manner!
So I wound up with chest pains on wednesday night. I slept in til 8.30 Thursday morning, even with the radio on, so I wouldn't go back to sleep. this told me I had a lot of energy taken out of me from always being alert of L! I did contemplate going in late, but concluded I should really take a day off and just try and calm myself down. so I called her. She ended with her usual "take care", though it sounded a bit fake to me, but god only knows what's up with her! I don't, and as I've said to people, normally it wouldn't phaze me what she thought of me. I am seriously done concerning myself with what the world thinks, as I have so learnt, that no-one can please everyone. but of course, cos L is my boss, I got to conform to her a bit, even if it means trying my best to meet with her un-realistic expectations. -- She has not got a clue how blind people need to operate, and she will not be told!
anyway, will see how things go, but I have been contemplating seeing if BCA have any suggestions.
It's one thing to just do what she says to keep her quiet, but it's another thing to walk around the place so damn nervy all the time, that if I stuff up, she may be watching me. I can't hack that!
anyway, a few people have suggested I have a quiet word with her, then they've gone back on it, so I dunno. My instincts tell me a small word can't hurt; maybe we can both at least try to understand each other more, that's of course, if she respects my opinions at all!
In other news, I get my casio next week, I am guessing!
Not much to report with BigBrother, but ( Read more... )
well, guess about all for now!
I'm mostly done with trying to please everybody in this world though; done and done! I've delt with so much crap lately, and, enough is enough!
til next time, RdFreak
this week, I actually ended up taking a sicky on the thursday as I had gotten myself far too worked up on Wednesday. Fortunately L and I didn't have too many confrontations this week, but the fact that she's there, and I'm always so nervy she's watching me all the time; walking in and out; "is she going to be there and get down on me again"? oooh, what if I make a tiny mistake; bad bad! I couldn't bare it! plus, I did make a tiny error on the board; I put someone to the wrong person. She didn't tell me off; just informed me what I'd done, in her usual L--- manner!
So I wound up with chest pains on wednesday night. I slept in til 8.30 Thursday morning, even with the radio on, so I wouldn't go back to sleep. this told me I had a lot of energy taken out of me from always being alert of L! I did contemplate going in late, but concluded I should really take a day off and just try and calm myself down. so I called her. She ended with her usual "take care", though it sounded a bit fake to me, but god only knows what's up with her! I don't, and as I've said to people, normally it wouldn't phaze me what she thought of me. I am seriously done concerning myself with what the world thinks, as I have so learnt, that no-one can please everyone. but of course, cos L is my boss, I got to conform to her a bit, even if it means trying my best to meet with her un-realistic expectations. -- She has not got a clue how blind people need to operate, and she will not be told!
anyway, will see how things go, but I have been contemplating seeing if BCA have any suggestions.
It's one thing to just do what she says to keep her quiet, but it's another thing to walk around the place so damn nervy all the time, that if I stuff up, she may be watching me. I can't hack that!
anyway, a few people have suggested I have a quiet word with her, then they've gone back on it, so I dunno. My instincts tell me a small word can't hurt; maybe we can both at least try to understand each other more, that's of course, if she respects my opinions at all!
In other news, I get my casio next week, I am guessing!
Not much to report with BigBrother, but ( Read more... )
well, guess about all for now!
I'm mostly done with trying to please everybody in this world though; done and done! I've delt with so much crap lately, and, enough is enough!
til next time, RdFreak
