was I expecting too much last night

[rdfreak]

no, i don't think I was. however, I was very disappointed with a few people, a couple actually at my own birthday celebration no less. I still feel I'm being too generous lately. Indeed, I love Karen, Mon and Troy; they are awesome awesome people and honestly made my night worth-while; Jordie tried hard to talk to all of us but from where she was sitting, it wasn't too easy in the end, Belinda and alice made the effort to come back and make up for the fact they couldn't talk as they were right at the other end of the table; Peter and Steve were good, but as for the others, ha, they didn't even bother trying, even to talk to me; how humiliated I felt at my own birthday. Even when I spoke to them, they'd give me a half-hearted smart-ass answer and then, actually go back to their -obviously-so-important private conversations. (obviously the previous "we're all good" msn chat that was had meant absolutely nothing).
I was pretty upset as I entered the restaurant as I'd mannaged to get myself and a few of them lost; however, they all said they understood this. i'd felt awful for it, and I even made the effort to go up to them to try and smooth things out, but apparently that wasn't good enough. They spoke among themselves the whole night; I tried. Just who invited you here anyway? .. um .. It was totally as if they were just there for any old get together, never mind that it was actually mine. They showed nothing for it at all; just an excuse to come out and catch up with each other and get a bit wasted.
I guess when I say "close nit" celebration, I need to be more careful. There's no excuse for how I was treated.
However, in other news, jordina encouraged me to try a margarita, I mannaged half of it but gave the rest to her. It was nice except for the alcohol which I can taste in everything. And now because my body aint use to it, my headache is back; oh dear.
She was over here yesterday before the restaurant and we had heaps of fun. gave her the USB drive and we were both spending a while trying to figure out the WD smart essentials softwear that had us in a spot of bother for a while, but even I mannaged to get mine done; I guess it's pretty cool in a way as you're able to password protect the drive, but we both are going to get to disabling it cos we don't want to install it with every computer we plug it intoo. ah well. It was good to catch up with her.
So despite most of my day and most of the people being a lot of fun, because of the couple that really disappointed and upset me, I feel I need to arrange a catchup with Mon and Kaz this week if they are up for it; they cheer me up. Ah, I got a JB voutcher from them, and like a kilo worth of cadbury roses; seriously; I'd never received so much chocolate before in one package; it's going to take a while even for me to get through it! --
blind people can be so clicky.
Til Next time, RdFreak

Comments

[salix-03.livejournal.com]

I have to run, but I shall be replying to this properly when I get back - I love you, and you are made of pure awesome!

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

thanks darl; you're the best! :) <333

[salix-03.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry some people disappointed you. It was noisy, crowded and hard to have conversations between opposite ends of the table, but that's no excuse for rudeness. I don't think you're too generous per se , but you are somewhat vulnerable because you put yourself out there as honestly as you can, with respect for everyone and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. This means that sometimes, people take advantage of your good nature. You're a lovely, genuine person and I'd hate to see that change because of a few 'bad eggs' for a lack of a better way to phrase it.

I would love to catch up with you sometime this week. I really do like you and think you're wonderful. And I try to not come across as creepily attached, because I do have good old social-awkwardness and I seem to be missing that bit of programming that everyone else has that lets them have 'normal' friendships :D All I can do is tell you what I think/feel and rely on you to tell me to piss off if I'm annoying you too much!

I'm sorry you had a headache after the margarita. I'm pleased to report that my 3 drinks did not give me a hangover at all, despite how chatty I might have accidentally got. I will say though that you are an absolute riot; you're clever and really funny without taking cheap shots at people.

What day would work for you in regards to us all having a catch up? I can easily pick Mon, you and Joy up and we can go anywhere you like so you don't have to bother with public transport if you don't want to.

And yes, enjoy that box of chocolates :D There was much debate over what size to get you, the 500gm one or the HUGE one kilo one - I won out so you were inundated with chockies :D I'm also going to be making my infamous triple choc chip cookies sometime soon, so sing out if you'd like to sample them, or even make them with me if you like?

I've rambled enough I think - hope your headache has gone and you're having a lovely day!

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

Hey thanks for your reply; I appreciate your honesty.
First of all, yes, it's been told to me many times before that because I am pretty vulnerable and definitely naive, i can be taken advantage of sometimes, and I've been warned by my family to watch this in completely unrelated circumstances. You're right, i do give people the benefit of the doubt, and the drama that had taken place in my lJ in the past, not to mention other stuff over the many years definitely proves that point. I seem to give people way way too many chances so they think they can just walk all over me. I also seem to use the term "friendship" far too lightly lately. I think i'm finding it hard to change unfortunately.
Hey seriously I love the sound of baking with you because it's a skill I so want to improve on myself, so if you'r up for it, I'm willing baby! :)
And re the social stuff, i haven't noticed any different behaviour between you and my other good friends; you are fine; extremely generous and loving, but of course that's what i love about you; you're awesome, and I seriously think we're friends for life; not just saying that, but i can't see us falling out; we're similar but got enough differences to keep each other interested, Lol!
Oh and after a couple of panadols, fortunately, my headache is gone; probably was also a combination of being upset about this.
so just let me know when you were thinking of baking, and I'll be there. Got nothing really planned this week as such, and as I say, transport doesn't worry me at all, so I'm happy to meet you at your station; saves you a heap especially if you'll be baking and/or needing to do other things. <333

[monsqueek.livejournal.com]

*HUGS* and COOOKIES !!! These cookies are seriously yummy cookies. I defiantly wanna be involved in the baking of them too!

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

ah yes, we'd always intended that; mmm cookies! *hugs*