hmm

[rdfreak]

I haven't done this night-time surfing for years! -- 4.08 and i'm up on computer, not exactly wide awake, but wide awake enough to not be able to sleep (if that makes any sense?)
I don't know what has got into me. What I was told last night didn't actually surprise me at all, as I'd said, I had figured as much, but, for some reason, the whole thing has suddenly played on my mind! guys have no clue, they don't care who they hurt as long as they can feel good in the moment, (OK I know I'm generalizing) but I wonder why I still think there's someone for me?
I wish I can just turn my feelings of "love" off. I wish I can be happy with my life as it stands now, but that will never, ever be the case!
why does life have to be so difficult? my life, for that matter?
Unlike yesterday, haven't got work today, or for the rest of the week, but was meant to go and meet Shaz (the original Melb one of course, :) later for lunch. want to also go and get locdots for my oven.
but knowing how this morn is turning out, I will be majorally asleep later. always the way, if I'm awake in the early morning, I will pretty much always fall into some very heavy sleepige later!
I am also worried about how I'm going to cope not seeing dad until christmas from when he leaves on Thursday. Coming with that is worrying for Mum. since Ang is at t's mostly fulltime now, is Mum going to be OK most of the time on her own?
I mean I am OK on my own here, but Mum will be in that big house by herself!
I heard on Mcgowan's program before a replay of a bit of Neil's program yesterday, where this family was asulted by this drunk maniac, and even though he hurt the father and son quite badly, apparently the police can't press charges cos they've got no proof of weapons or anything; how ridiculous and worrying! I wish I knew the outcome of the investigations Neil had been going to make to the police, but Keith didn't play that bit, and course I was at work yesterday and didn't hear the story as it broke.
alcohol again! lovely! .. not!
ah well, may go and do something else now. don't know what. will go back to bed soon, but I don't think I want to just yet.
(oh quickly in BigBro news, in a double eviction on Sunday, David and Nathan got evicted; so much for Nathan's web votes, I thought!)
til next time, RdFreak

Comments

[colorschanging.livejournal.com]

I hope your okay, whatever happeend last night

"hugs"

Had you heard anythin about that John guy from VA i was telling you about?

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

hmmm it would depend on which John guy you are talking about, Lol :)

[colorschanging.livejournal.com]

hahaha the one who is a employment officer. I told you what id heard about him lol

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

yes you did. I don't know many staff around there any more, but, as I said to , wouldn't surprise me, Lol

[onlylisa.livejournal.com]

Oh I forgot that Nate got all those web votes. I guess people changed their minds of him. I certainly did!

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

mmm none of the guys who were so-caleld voted in by the public, are there any more. I find that very amusing! but sad! I guess it just goes to show that some people do change their perceptions from a short vidio, and that's understandable! some of them would try to beef themselves up a bit to be something they're probably not.

[onlylisa.livejournal.com]

Yes that's true. And when you think about it the producers can find more interesting people by interviewing them than a short video can show.
Who is your favourite and least favourite now?

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

as you can prob tell, I didn't go out; it is raining cats and dogs! hey have you got msn?
anyway, um, my gosh I can't believe brigett; she's such a whinger; about everything! I know I'd probably have a few tears if I were in the house, but, I wouldn't be like that; that's what bigBrother is all about; change which she needed to understand, is all part of the experience!
so, in saying that, I do like Terry more than I did. And, not sure what the sudden decline in popularity with Bianca, but I have started to like her. I think she is quite mature for her age and is quite logical! I also am having a bit of a soft soft for Dixie -chick (I liked that reference to her last night), and I also don't mind travis, and I don't think he's being fake at all. I think he is just being himself, but he sounds like a lovely person!
what about you?

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

woops, "soft soft"=soft spot, doh!

[onlylisa.livejournal.com]

Well I dont really dislike any of them. None of them are really mean. I think they just suffer from the experience a bit, like you said. My least favourite is Ben. I think that he is playing the game cause he seems to say what people want to hear rather than what I believe he thinks. I think in real life he probably hangs with rich and smart kids and he's liked amongst them but with the housemates he's not so popular and he can't handle that. So he tries too hard to be liked. I guess I am saying that I find him a bit sucky.
I like all the rest of them. Although they are not always nice.
And Terri disappoints me cause she is a poor example of an older person. Too grumpy and sour in her opinions for me to like her.

[rdfreak.livejournal.com]

yeh, I do know what you're saying with terry. she can be a little grumpy, but then, maybe she's trying to fit in too hard.
I myself have friends of all ages, so I don't think there's much of an issue with the younger folk trying to be friends with terry, but, they don't see it that way.
I don't know many of the guys yet to be honest. I mean I still can't tell them apart by voice, except travis of course, Lol! I do find that sometimes though. it's like real life, it takes me a while to get to know people and tell them apart.