hmm

May. 27th, 2008 04:07 am
rdfreak: (Default)
[personal profile] rdfreak
I haven't done this night-time surfing for years! -- 4.08 and i'm up on computer, not exactly wide awake, but wide awake enough to not be able to sleep (if that makes any sense?)
I don't know what has got into me. What I was told last night didn't actually surprise me at all, as I'd said, I had figured as much, but, for some reason, the whole thing has suddenly played on my mind! guys have no clue, they don't care who they hurt as long as they can feel good in the moment, (OK I know I'm generalizing) but I wonder why I still think there's someone for me?
I wish I can just turn my feelings of "love" off. I wish I can be happy with my life as it stands now, but that will never, ever be the case!
why does life have to be so difficult? my life, for that matter?
Unlike yesterday, haven't got work today, or for the rest of the week, but was meant to go and meet Shaz (the original Melb one of course, :) later for lunch. want to also go and get locdots for my oven.
but knowing how this morn is turning out, I will be majorally asleep later. always the way, if I'm awake in the early morning, I will pretty much always fall into some very heavy sleepige later!
I am also worried about how I'm going to cope not seeing dad until christmas from when he leaves on Thursday. Coming with that is worrying for Mum. since Ang is at t's mostly fulltime now, is Mum going to be OK most of the time on her own?
I mean I am OK on my own here, but Mum will be in that big house by herself!
I heard on Mcgowan's program before a replay of a bit of Neil's program yesterday, where this family was asulted by this drunk maniac, and even though he hurt the father and son quite badly, apparently the police can't press charges cos they've got no proof of weapons or anything; how ridiculous and worrying! I wish I knew the outcome of the investigations Neil had been going to make to the police, but Keith didn't play that bit, and course I was at work yesterday and didn't hear the story as it broke.
alcohol again! lovely! .. not!
ah well, may go and do something else now. don't know what. will go back to bed soon, but I don't think I want to just yet.
(oh quickly in BigBro news, in a double eviction on Sunday, David and Nathan got evicted; so much for Nathan's web votes, I thought!)
til next time, RdFreak

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