freakin figure
Jul. 8th, 2004 12:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rdfreakSo now I feel bla! I kinda new it! whenever I get in such a high I always know i'm gunna be hit hard-core later, so I'm never overly thrilled at the time. I do go up and down! up and down like a yoyo! actually it hasn't been like that for quite a while with me; I've always been just OK.
Well Neighbours was pretty depressing earlier, then I called Nan, and I was starting to go into all the reasons why I didn't want parents to purchase flat at rye, and yeah and bla. that got me a little upset again just talking about it! *sigh*
And while I love my internet friends, and was totally high on them before, it can annoy me how text chatting doesn't really give you the ability to know how they mean a certain statement! And sometimes people just go off line - which I understand - I do it too, but it's like I seem to be caring about everyone and I never get anything back. Yes yes I know I know, people will probably think I'm contradicting myself big time but deal! maybe I felt more positive! maybe now, while I still stand by loving all my Net friends, it can all seem extremely one-sided sometimes.
And everyone seems to be out to please themselves these days. I'm the only one who seems to care about all my friends, really. I mean .. I dunno!
When it comes to relationships and stuff, I've learnt that your close friends can become your worst enemy. why? because we all try and compete for the one we love! and screw the gender-bias friendship! Yes I have been thinking a lot about that one too lately, and it's sooo sad! I can't not admit that I do it too! but why? why why why?
I dunno! I just figured I'd feel better if I write in here. Cos I love my journal, even if I am weird sometimes.
Like I've always said, LJ appeals to me so much as I really benefit from having others read my story! -- well the majority of it anyway! haha! not saying that I don't write everything in here cos, this is my one and only journal - well maybe not my one and only. I do keep voice diaries on occasion but this has turned into my one and only text one now. The very occasional entry will be private! then a little more of it is "friends only" but most stuff, generally speaking can be viewed by everyone! I think of it is my BigBrother eppisodes! man I would love to get on there, but I now doubt that very much! I use to be positive about it, but I don't know why?! I am blind. i need to get a grip on reality! Mainstream doesn't always want to acomodate! it sucks! I feel I have as much right as the rest of the world to have my fun!
Lol I can't understand why everyone says "I'm being random". i am always random but I don't give a hoot! it's my journal and I'll hoot if I want too - or somethin!
Til Next time, RdFreak
Well Neighbours was pretty depressing earlier, then I called Nan, and I was starting to go into all the reasons why I didn't want parents to purchase flat at rye, and yeah and bla. that got me a little upset again just talking about it! *sigh*
And while I love my internet friends, and was totally high on them before, it can annoy me how text chatting doesn't really give you the ability to know how they mean a certain statement! And sometimes people just go off line - which I understand - I do it too, but it's like I seem to be caring about everyone and I never get anything back. Yes yes I know I know, people will probably think I'm contradicting myself big time but deal! maybe I felt more positive! maybe now, while I still stand by loving all my Net friends, it can all seem extremely one-sided sometimes.
And everyone seems to be out to please themselves these days. I'm the only one who seems to care about all my friends, really. I mean .. I dunno!
When it comes to relationships and stuff, I've learnt that your close friends can become your worst enemy. why? because we all try and compete for the one we love! and screw the gender-bias friendship! Yes I have been thinking a lot about that one too lately, and it's sooo sad! I can't not admit that I do it too! but why? why why why?
I dunno! I just figured I'd feel better if I write in here. Cos I love my journal, even if I am weird sometimes.
Like I've always said, LJ appeals to me so much as I really benefit from having others read my story! -- well the majority of it anyway! haha! not saying that I don't write everything in here cos, this is my one and only journal - well maybe not my one and only. I do keep voice diaries on occasion but this has turned into my one and only text one now. The very occasional entry will be private! then a little more of it is "friends only" but most stuff, generally speaking can be viewed by everyone! I think of it is my BigBrother eppisodes! man I would love to get on there, but I now doubt that very much! I use to be positive about it, but I don't know why?! I am blind. i need to get a grip on reality! Mainstream doesn't always want to acomodate! it sucks! I feel I have as much right as the rest of the world to have my fun!
Lol I can't understand why everyone says "I'm being random". i am always random but I don't give a hoot! it's my journal and I'll hoot if I want too - or somethin!
Til Next time, RdFreak
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no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 08:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-07-07 08:57 pm (UTC)yeah actually I personally, deep down feel that I'm always caring about everyone else and I get not a lot back but oh well!
something positive has to happen eventually I guess! <33